fangirling, clothes, and more fangirling

Hey guys! Soooooo it's been a little over a week, I guess? In this post I want to talk about being a fan of things/people and that kind of thing. But before we get into that how about a little life update. Because they're so necessary because I just live such an exciting life. Really.

 So I went to see Ed Sheeran in concert in Belfast on Wednesday and LORD. He was unbelievable. The whole way through I was just in awe of his talent and passion for music. He's also such a great human and I just. I just. Here's a 15 second clip I instagrammed of Bloodstream (my favourite song on X, which was reaffirmed when it was beyond all of my hopes live). 

  Me and my friend Eleanor's attempts at taking a selfie at the concert. SelFAIL.


Since then I really haven't done anything exciting except have a few mental breakdowns over school, which are kind of a regular thing nowadays. With the odd bit of angsty poetry.

Ooh I forgot to mention in my last post but when I was in Italy I bought a few things in Brandy Melville, the God-sent American shop I would kill to have here. Actually no, I just want them to ship to the UK for a reasonable fee. I love that shop so. much. Everything in it is so cool. 

 I got these two tops and a long necklace with a teal-coloured shark-tooth-looking type thing. The whole 'one size' thing annoys me although luckily they fit me perfectly. But I really do disagree with their idea of the correct size or whatever. It's toxic.

 Regardless, the tops are cute and as you can see I wore the one on the left to the concert. It's quite low at the sides but with a bandeau it looks so cool. I love shirts like this.

The sunflower top on the right is so pretty but it is really tight and low-cut so I don't know when I'll ever actually wear it. Maybe during summer with high waisted shorts or something.

Awkward selfie time! I really do like this top. I like anything I can wear chokers with.

  Okay so on to the actual topics of this post.

 I was saying to my parents today how annoying it is how people think it's weird and strange how I'm such a big Taylor Swift fan, yet the people my age being obsessed with boybands and cute-boy-type-humans is completely normal. You probably don't think it's weird that I'm a fan of Taylor, but a lot of people I've met do. And that's ridiculous. As if it's unrealistic for me to look up to a female who has achieved incredible things in her life because it might give me the motivation to do the same, but realistic for me to idolise a teenage boy and make it my dream to marry him (lol). Grrrrrrrrrrr.

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"...as brightness, pouring itself out of you, 
as if you were
burning inside.

Under your skin the moon is alive."

- Pablo Neruda
(a part of 'Ode To A Naked Beauty)

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 What I'm trying to say is that, being a fan of something means you love it, and care about it, and whether that's a boy band or a female artist-superhero or a T.V. chef or a fictional character, that is a good thing! It's an amazing thing! It is something to enjoy and be proud of. Being passionate about things is one of the greatest joys of just being a person. Don't let anyone tell you it's 'weird' or 'immature'. When you look for it, fangirling is everywhere. In masterchef the judges fangirl over the food, in Top Gear the presenters fangirl over cars, and on QVC they fangirl over, well, anything that could possibly be sold. 

Book-I-like-and-want-to-talk-about: Where Rainbows End/Love, Rosie - Cecilia Ahern

 Okay, I am not really a fan of this author's books, but I read this book on Saturday because my it has been my friend's favourite book for so long so I wanted to read it and then I saw the trailer and knew I just had to read it. The trailer looks so. good. I'm going to love it so much. Too much. I love generic teen romance movies. Almost as much as I love generic teen-romance books. I liked the book, I didn't love it, I really only found myself reading the whole way through to see if the two main characters would EVER end up together. Seriously. I'm not going to spoil it but let's just say it was infuriating. Buuuut I am making it book of the week because I do love the two main characters and there was something really nice about the book. Lily Collins is really the most perfect human ever and she's definitely the perfect Rosie.

Video I-like-and-want-to-talk-about: Well this is easy! Taylor Swift covered a song I've loved for so long and it's really just so beautiful and angelic and every-positive-adjective. Her playing piano and singing a slow song is my favourite thing ever. She just has this emotive superpower/witchcraft. I even find myself thinking about the lyrics differently since hearing her sing them.

Album-I-like-and-want-to-talk-about: Hozier's self-titled album. 

 The best popular artist this country has created since Snow Patrol. He is ridiculously good. Such a good album. I have had Take Me To Church stuck in my head for months and I'm not complaining. 

 Okay so it's 11:42 (I usually write these at like 2am! WOW!) and I should try and sleep now. So even though it could be any time of day when you read this, good night!

rambling about italy, exhaustion and self-worth

Hey there! I'm currently listening to Ed Sheeran's album X and freaking out because I love him and I love his music and I'm seeing him live on Wednesday. EEEEEEEE! 

 In other news, I got back from Italy last night and so now I am so exhausted. I have a ton of school work to catch up on but I needed today to recover from a week of 1. barely any sleep and 2. SO. MUCH. WALKING. Including trekking up freaking Vesuvius. Tons of walking/standing around etc. + scoliosis = not good. But I'll be fine in a few days. It was SO worth it! 

 So our hotel was in Sorrento, which was so beautiful! And our hotel was so so lovely, it was right on the beach and ridiculously picturesque. We climbed vesuvius, went to the solfatara, shopped in Naples, visited Pompeii & Herculaneum, sight-saw in Rome, and visited a farm where we got the most authentic italian lunch which was amazing and made everything else I've ever eaten seem unhealthy and stale and boring. But the best part of the trip was easily the fun everyone had together, having 42 of us on long bus journeys and site-seeing led to a lot of singing and laughing and selfies. Especially at night in the hotel everyone from my year would pile into one room and play 'never have I ever' and talk about boys and eat sweets and dance to terrible dance music. Such fun times.

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“I am awfully greedy; I want everything from life. I want to be a woman and to be a man, to have many friends and to have loneliness, to work much and write good books, to travel and enjoy myself, to be selfish and to be unselfish… You see, it is difficult to get all which I want. And then when I do not succeed I get mad with anger.” 

- Simone de Beauvoir

(Obviously I get all my quotes for these posts from the internet but this quote has been floating around my head all week. Let's just say I relate.)

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The weekend before I went to Italy I went out with my friends, which was so fun! And then saw my sister become an All-Ireland Champion in football. I was ineffably proud. 

Being the supportive lil sister I am. And the only person in the country not wearing a jersey.

The dress I wore out from (asos) the brand Lavish Alice. I really loved it!

So that's pretty much a fill-in on my life lately. Now onto the actual post. I feel like unless I talk about life at the start of the post then I'm being secretive or something for the rest of the post or I'm always leaving something out. I don't know. If the life updates are annoying/boring please comment but I kinda like them. I'm just narcissistic, really. 

In this post I want to talk about the things people value in life. I don't know why exactly, but it occurred to me while I was in Italy and I thought about it a lot. I think it stemmed from how this girl I was on the trip with was so obsessed with instagram likes, follower counts, who you know, who you go out with, all that kind of stuff and she really saw it as this hugely important thing and said it was one of her life goals (not even with sarcasm) to get like 200 likes on an instagram post. 

 It really saddened me because you could tell that comparing herself to more popular girls in these things really got to her and lessened her feeling of self-worth. She idolised the people that got hundreds of likes etc. It really did sadden me and make me grateful that I realise and can see the triviality of those things and wish I could get her to agree with me. I mean, I love getting likes on instagram and I'd like more followers and that kind of thing but I don't strive to have them. I don't base my self-worth on them. And I wish no one did. The thing is, it's so obviously ridiculous to do that, but so many people do. 

 I'm pretty sure I've ranted about self-esteem enough but really I just wanted to think about what I value, what's my equivalent to that girl's social media popularity? I think I value when people are friendly, more-so as I get older and people become more and more gossip-y and I become more aware of how everyone deserves to be treated kindly and inclusively. That sounds cheesy but I really believe it. I value treating people nicely, regardless of who they are. It's something I've always, and will always, notice first about someone.

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“I will not be "famous," "great." I will go on adventuring, changing, opening my mind and my eyes, refusing to be stamped and stereotyped. The thing is to free one's self: to let it find its dimensions, not be impeded.” 

― Virginia Woolf

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 Side note: I'm not saying I'm some angel when it comes to being friendly, when I'm in a bad mood, which is not un-often, I am definitely not able to fit in the 'friendly' category. Or even the 'some-what nice' category. But everyone has those days.

 Okay I wanted to also talk about being a fan of things and pushing people away but it's 1:06am and I, as you know, am currently in a constant state of exhaustion. So they can wait until the next post. Thank you for reading this far, see you next post!

P.S: Song of the week: Hospital Beds - Cold War Kids. It's been in my head all day. Such a classic.