Friday, 5 September 2014

dresses, lyrics and fear

Hey! This week's post is going to mainly focus on things I've thought a lot about this week (some more so than others), including fear, starting Lower Sixth, Paramore and a fairy-like dress I got from Free People. I'd say that's a pretty good mixture of feelings.

 So I guess since it is Friday as I am writing this, I have just successfully completed my first week of Lower Sixth! Woo! I'm so old. It's truly terrifying. Lower Sixth has always seemed like an old and mature year to me and like whenever I get there I'll be pretty and organised and smart and popular and I'll have overcame all of the current problems I have...Let's just say that didn't happen. Shocker. It reminds me of a line in the song "Go" by Kara Della Valle, "Always thought that this place would just get old and it wasn't me getting older."

                   A journal page dedicated to my favourite Kara lyrics.

 Throughout my GCSEs I barely thought about A Levels as I was already worried enough about them. But I think in the back of my mind I always kind of thought that GCSEs are difficult and there are so many subjects and next year I'll only have four and I will be doing subjects I like and I will have less work and more time to study. Wrong. So wrong. So wrong in so many ways. 1. The 4 subjects I'm now studying at AS (English Literature, Geography, Biology & Chemistry, if anyone is wondering) are probably worth 30 GCSE subjects in terms of workload and difficulty. 2. Taking subjects you need, and want to have and are good at may not be ones you love. I really do like all of the subjects I'm doing but I have a very turbulent, love-hate relationship with Chemistry. And kind of Biology. But I still like them and I don't want to close all of the doors they open when, who knows, maybe at some point before college application time I'll decide I want to be a doctor. It is unlikely. But not impossible. Maybe I'm just a nerd.

 Anyway, enough school stuff. Time to talk about the one thing everyone loves. Things that can change moods, people, and even the WORLD.


Oh, dresses. My one true love in life. I always look at the Free People website in awe as I love every. single. piece. but I never order because it is SO EXPENSIVE. But...I'm going to a wedding next Friday...I needed a dress...It would inevitably be pricier than regular dresses...I saw an opportunity.

 I ended up purchasing this cream-ish coloured lace dress which is so stunning. It was a little pricier but it is a beautiful design and fit and it is so well-made. Although I decided to wear this amazing red dress to the wedding instead, I'll post a picture in next week's post wearing them. (I can't link you to the red one because I bought it from a local shop). Basically i would 100% recommend Free People and I just really, really like 


“Your red dress,’ she said, and laughed.

But I looked at the dress on the floor and it was as if the fire had spread across the room. It was beautiful and it reminded me of something I must do. I will remember I thought. I will remember quite soon now.” 
― Jean Rhys, Wide Sargasso Sea

  These are both photos I took in Dingle, Kerry last month. Such a pretty place.

 Another thing I've been thinking a lot about this week is fear. And not just my fears, but people's reactions to fear and what my actual fears are and not just my strong dislike for spiders and flies and desire to avoid them. 

I think my biggest fear is fear itself.

(How many times can I use fear in a sentence?!)

Think about it this way: I study not only because I'm afraid of failing, but because I'm afraid of being unprepared for an exam and being afraid before an exam. I guess I hate the feeling of fear so much that I imagine the level of it I would feel in an unfortunate or dangerous situation and I get scared. And although fear may not be my biggest single fear, being someone who is very obsessed with feelings (that sounds weird, you know what I mean...I hope) it is underlying in anything else that frightens me in some way.

 This seems like the part where I tell you how to deal with fear. I wish I knew, I think I'm still figuring it out. Right now, being a teenager, I think the best way is just to try and do my best whenever I can and not think about the scary stuff, even if it is always closing in around us.


"Just because there's a hurricane going on around you doesn't mean you have to open the window and look at it." - Taylor Swift 


After all that deep stuff, how about I end this post with music and book discussion. YAY.


 This week I have been obsessed with a lot of Paramore's unreleased songs like Escape Route, Hello Cold World, Renegade, Breathe, and especially Decoy. That song is just. So. Good. I listen to it unhealthily loud in my earphones and I forget about everything annoying or worrying me. Paramore have such an ability to make you really feel something through their music. Is there really a better quality a band can have?

 I'm also still obsessed with Tonight Alive, with my current favourite songs of theirs being Hell and Back (my absolute favourite) and Complexes. 

 I've been in love with Lights' new song Up We Go lately too. It is SO not the kind of music I normally listen to but I just turn it up so loud in my earphones and feel so happy. I also fall asleep to her acoustic album every night, it is heavenly.

TV shows:

 Okay because I've started school again I've abandoned all TV shows completely but I have been watching episodes of the US version of The Office on Netflix before I fall asleep most nights to make me laugh and forget about anything stressing me out and keeping me awake. I honestly never find comedy TV shows funny but this one is an exception. It's not the best it has a lot of average episodes but so many funny characters (Dwight is me) and lines and there's just something about it I really like. I only have about half a season left and it's making me very sad.


Again with school I haven't had any free time to read anything not-school-related but whenever I can I've been reading the classing The Great Gatsby! I've wanted to read it for years because I love F. Scott Fitzgerald's work and it's such a classic and since we're studying it in English this year I guess it would be a good idea. So far I really love it although it can be confusing, which really makes me like it more because it's more complexly written, challenging and interesting to read. 

 There are a lot of other things I wanted to talk about but my eyes are closing as I type so I guess they can wait until the next post. I like writing these. It's therapeutic. Like cleansing my mind of it's thoughts whilst also sharing my thoughts with people. 

If you got this far and didn't stop reading, please comment below and let me know if you agree/disagree or like/dislike anything. Thank you for reading & see you next week! I will leave you with an attempt-at-being-artsy rainy picture I took of a window & a picture of my dog curling up on my knee. She is the greatest thing.  

P.S. I'm not sure on what to call this blog. I was swaying between this or "clothesandcorruption" that was my initial idea and I think I might prefer it but I'm not sure. I would really appreciate if you commented any ideas you have or which one you prefer because I am perpetually indecisive. 


  1. Both clothesandcomplexity & clothesandcorruption are cool names but tbh unless you're going to be talking about politics much then corruption isnt going to be as relevant as complexity.
    They're both good names though! :D

  2. I adore the free people dress you linked btw!

  3. A lovely post! You have such a talent for writing :) I love love LOVE paramore, they are my favourite band they always seem to pick me up when I'm feeling down.
    - F -

    1. Wow thank you that's incredibly nice of you! & Me too! They are the best. I will be sure to check out/follow your blog, thanks for commenting :)